Adventures in the Erotic
Monday, May 26, 2008
7:56PM - Un-Used
To all of my friends I may have on this site. It is about to be deleted. I never acess this journal anymore due to most of my friends now knowing about my *job* and being ok with it.. Eventhough I rarely dance anymore these days.
Friday, August 31, 2007
12:55AM - I am still alive..
I haven't posted here in what seems like forever. I am doing well. I pretty much spent my summer traveling with my company and I also took a road trip across the country. While away I hooked up with a photographer and did a photo shoot for a fashion designer.
Work is going well. Now that I am back in one place from my summer of fun and getting away from the stress of my life I will be dancing much more. Really what else do I have to do at night- watch tv? Yuck. Might as well work. That seems humourous- might as well go into a dark bar and take off all my clothes for money. I'm finally at that point where I know the game and not only that - I LIKE it. I enjoy my job. I have fun at it. I turned 30 in July and you know what I look better now then I did at 20. Dancing is my motivation to get my ass up and jogging, tanning, contact lens wearing, hair blow-drying, eyeshadow applying, and looking good. I feel good. I feel feminine and I like it. I like going to work and learning new pole tricks. I like being on stage and hearing the guys go wild. It's very much like feeling like a rock star. I like the women I have met through work and I like me!
Having said that, I am also coming out of a relationship that near the end got resentful towards my job and gratuitous towards the money I made. Dating while being a dancer is a tough thing to navigate for sure. Men love you from afar for your job but once you are up close and personal with it -well it's a whole new ballgame. They either find it incredibly amusing or begin to treat you like a cash stop. It also doesn't help that once you have regulars you need to cater to them just a little. That means you have to call them and ask to see them. This can make your actual partner either laugh or get angry. Mine began as one and went to the other. But it definitely taught me so much about respecting myself. I work hard for my money and just because I don't have to put in 40 hours a week to make it doesn't mean I don't work at it. Feel the muscles in my back from learning how to hoist myself upside down on a 2 storey pole. You try it! I am not cheap because I am comfortable with my body, or with my regulars. My new deal breaker in any relationship will be the moment any guy says anything negative, jealous or insecure about my dancing. Or taking my money for granted and thinking they can spend it.
I am done with so many negative time wasters.
Sunday, April 1, 2007
2:55PM - Best Work Week Ever..
I am a happy happy girl! My wallet is bursting at the seams. Tonight I made $1200! I am sooo giddy right now. The crowd last night was fun - coming on stage and cheering for the girls and going up to them to say they were great on stage and look hot. The dancers were going up to tip each other and play it up- which always makes the night that much smoother and *gasp* FUN!..The club I dance at is so weird- it's more like a night club with strippers instead of go go dancers- it has that kind of feel to it. Everyone just has fun and there are so many non-dancer girls that come to hang out.
My problem in dancing is that I realize I need a balance. I need to have a day job; even a small part time retail one to keep it all in perspective. I need to wear normal clothes and operate with the real world instead of sitting in a dance club atmosphere all night long in a bikini. I need to keep it in perspective in the sense that I need to remind myself of how long it takes the average *Joe* to make $100..And I also need to have the small paycheck to keep from taking the big ones for granted. I tend to fall into the oh I'll make it up again next week trap and then I get lazy- have an awesome week then not go into the club for 2 weeks.. Suddenly I'm back to stressing about bills and all that stuff..
But now that I have a taste of being able to pay things off in CHUNKS I am looking forward to going into the club. I like this feeling. I like who I am- I like how I look, I like being able to go shopping and in the meantime see the numbers in my bank account steadily climb. Though when I say shopping I really am a tight wad when it comes to spending on *stuff* so for me shopping is still thrift stores and outlets shops. Everytime I break a $20 I think oh that's one whole dance down the drain. I think of the tables I had to hustle to get that dance and the worry at the beginning of the night of whether or not I WILL get that or those dances. Put like that I think ok I don't need that $20 top or whathaveyou. Reverse psychology of a sorts. I don't want to come out of this job 5 years from now with nothing to show for it but a shit load of impulse buying of crap I don't wear or use.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
2:40AM - Hotness.
Last Saturday I danced for a very sexy man. He was visiting on business from Texas. He had that southern gentleman twang and called me Mame. I actually didn't want to stop dancing for him and admitted that if he lived in the area I might even have a crush on him! But that ship has sailed and now he haunts my fantasies..
Friday, December 29, 2006
8:44PM - Dusty old Journal
Haven't really been posting here.
Things have been slowing down at my club. It seems like it is a summer club where the money is good, teeth pulling every other time. I'm starting to feel weird about dancing. I like the power it gives me to be free and I like being naked ( yes it is also empowering) but I hate the slow nights. I see women I know from the clubs that have been dancing for 16 years with nothing, living in ghetto apartments and squandering their money. This stereotype scares me so much I don't want to work. Stupid I know. I'm in that mind set of not wanting to be seen as just a stripper. I should just get in make my money and get out. I need to find a new club to work at maybe a change of scenery will rev me up. Though my options right now are spend $300 to work in Toronto or go to the local organized whore house. Yuk. I know girls who have worked there and raked in the dough but they all left out of frustration that comes with the territory of when in Rome you must..... I won't. Maybe try to hack it on a weekday. We'll see. I need to do something though. I have a new year's goal and I want it damn it.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Sunday, October 22, 2006
7:59PM - Meowwww..
I had such a wicked Friday night at work. I only danced for 2 guys but I cleared $700 from them. My best night thus far in terms of not having to hustle to rake it in. I didn't even bother going in to get the money the club owes me for working.Save that for next week. The down side being that it really sucks when you have this nice stack of monies that you have to hand over to one bill or another. Stupid bills.Bah to rent and other necessities..
Thursday, September 14, 2006
12:31PM - Strip Tease
Last night was really fun. I ventured into the city to watch a burlesque show being put on in honor of the Bettie Paige movie release. I really enjoyed the Mod Club where it was held having never been there before. I finally got to introduce myself to Mina La Fleur. I had seen her dance at Black Trillium but didn't get the chance to talk to her being too shy myself to approach her. Her performance was divine and stunning to say the least. Her name sake suits her as she is so flower like and shy in person. I do hope she got my present that I left for her.
Burlesque and exotic dancing definitely have one thing in common: you really have to be comfortable in your own skin to be able to pull it off well. You need to be able to fall into your music and theme and allow yourself to not just go through the motions. It was really fun to watch how much zing these girls put into their facial expressions and movements, and it did give me some ideas to freshen things up at my own work. I'll have to practice, and find out where I can get some of those awesome big fans.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
5:16PM - Fickle is as Fickle Does.
I'm trying to get in touch with my work to see if I am scheduled to work tonight. I am hoping not. It seems that the longer breaks I take from work the less I want to go back- even with the lure of making lots of cash does nothing to inspire me. And no I do not hate my job. I love the freedom and the money. But I think too much freedom leads to a certain slackness towards work ethic. Don't get me wrong I have put in my time at working. Before I moved to Cambridge I was working 16 hour days at 2 full time jobs often leaving my house at 5:30am and not returning home until 9:30pm. Then I got a 3rd p/t job and an offer for a 4th..All at the same time.
Last year I was working 2 jobs for a while as well though that was a much slower pace.
Now I just work on my personal company and dance when I *feel* like it. The money in dancing can be very touch and go and to be honest I get very disgruntled at dancing for nothing. So I guess I just know myself and know that the more I am there making less the more bitchy I get and it's a downward spiral from there. Whereas I can go in on a Saturday night knowing I need X amount of money and make it. I don't even know where I am going with this post.
I think the brain drain of dancing is getting to me. Or I've just taken too much time off of work that I don't want to go back in?? I just seem to be in a mood as of late.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
10:14PM - I Guess I should update
I have been neglecting this journal more then a little. I haven't really had much new in the stripping world as of late. It's the same old thing. I did my frist home show last week for a birthday party. It was really odd. Trying to be confident while being naked in some stranger's living room with a group of their friends in glaring bright light can be nerve wracking to say the least. But I somehow pulled it off and apparantly the guys loved me so all is right with the world.
In other news my big accomplishment has been learning to flip upside down on the pole. yey. But man it's alot harder then it looks.
I've been on the road a bit -checking out of the grass is greener on the other side. ANd no it is not.My home club seems to be where it's at for now at least.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
9:34PM - Insomnia Update
Can't sleep so I thought I would up-date.
I sorted my frustrations out with my main boss. He knows that people in this industry have too much time to come up with crap and told me not to even think about said e-mails/impersonators. Glad I got it off my chest.
I got my photos back from Jennifer Kirk Photography. Lovely. I can't wait to share them.
I'm putting on my first burlesque show on Sept.1 Labor Day weekend at club Abstract in Kitchener. I'm nervous but it will only be 2 possibly 3 songs tops so I think I can handle it. It's just nerve wracking because it is friends who will be there watching. People whose opinions I care about- seeing me take my clothes off. *chews nails*. But the songs I already have picked out and ideas are floating around. I pick up the first cd this week so I can begin working out my routine for 1 show. It's "Do Right" by Peggy Lee but I'm using the Jessica Rabbit version -it's much more sensual. I'll have a male counter part to help me act out the song. It's sort've starlet meets 1920's gangster esk.All pinstripes, long gloves and fishnets.
I'll see if I can get my b/f to find/download the 2nd song I want. It's a cover of a Nina Simone song done by a male vocalist. The "I put a Spell on you" song. I have the Nina version as well as the Marilyn Manson version, but I want the male jazz version- I heard it in the Elvira Mistress of the Dark movie. I want to do a goth strip to it. I just got a really hot vinyl corset with garters and a spiderweb coverup..I'm envisioning blowing glitter into the audience and something or other else. I really like the big ostrich fans. Of course I also like Japanese dancing swords, fire poi, Indiana Jones whips and jingly belly dancing coin belts. Sigh. How am I going to pull this all together?
I think my friends have more confidence in me then I have in myself.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
9:53AM - Frustrated.
My boss is stirring up drama. He came to me the other day and told me about some e-mail that a customer brought in. It was *supposedly* by me sent around that got forwarded to my boss.In said e-mail I slagged the bar the managers and the dj. My boss tried to accost me about how upsetting it was to read this e-mail and how I would actually use names.
Now it should be noted that A). I never use names- ever. B). I don't talk to ANYONE from the bar or at the bar outside of work. C). When asked who it was from or what it said he refused to tell me or show me.
When I got pissed and told him that I was smarter then that he got standoff-ish and said he couldn't reveal his sources or whatnot. Then he pointedly ignored me for the rest of the night. Like wtf? He's never managed a strip club before so I don't know if he is aware of how easy it is to create something like that. Either which way it's bullshit and this my friend's is the drama that comes along with this industry.
Monday, June 26, 2006
5:37PM - Photos
I had my photo shoot this morning with the lovely Jennifer Kirk. We played around for 2 hours shooting everywhere in the club in various outfits. I was quite pooped at the end of it dancing my set for 2 hours straight so she could get various shots off.
I'm anxious to see how they turned out and hope that she also comes away with some wicked stuff for her portfolio.
Work has been lagging these past few weeks and I am finding it harder and harder to motivate myself into the club. As such I have become seriously underemployed.I like the convenience of the club I am at but the cash flow simply isn't there. I think it will be time to bite the big one and fork out the dough to work in Toronto. I heard it was all pimps but we'll see.
Sunday, June 4, 2006
9:10PM - Spent
I worked at the Manor in Guelph this Friday. Or rather I sat in the changeroom all night at the Manor. I just couldn't get into it because this club has organized prostitution. It makes it really hard to compete and you really have to know how to handle the Manor clients. I didn't have the energy to listen to anyone's dime store psychology so I killed the entire night in the changeroom waiting as I was new and therefore LAST girl on stage. It was a long fucking night and I just wanted to go home and hide under the covers.
Sunday, April 9, 2006
11:32PM - Worked the Falls
Spend part of the weekend working Niagara Falls. I made a killing. Not the best night I have ever had but probably the 2nd best. The first only being topped by the fact that I was on schedule that night so the shift pay pushed me over. Though in the falls I didn't have to work for dances at all. I got asked right, left and center. Easiest money I have ever made.
I could have made more but I lost about an hour of working time due to nerves. I had heard that the dancers were really mean to new comers so I didn't want to get into anyone's way. So I took my time getting liquid courage and checking out the stage shows. Once I found my groove the night went well. I now see why casino towns bring in so much dough. It's going to be hard to resist the urge to milk it. But it is an hour and a half away,and I still want to be loyal to the club I'm at now. The owner has been more then good to me.
Wednesday, April 5, 2006
1:56PM - License to Thrill
I just got my license to thrill. These days it seems that you need to get a license for more and more hobbies or privileges, and adult entertaining has now become one of them. I had to register at the police station, fork over some cash & consent to having a criminal record check. I have never been arrested so there are no worries with that. In return I received a plastic card that reads in huge block letters: "Adult Entertainer", complete with my picture, full given name, and DOB..
Certain towns now have a bi-law that requires you to get an " Adult Entertainer" license before you can work. This license doesn't grant you any privileges other then being able to work in the local strip club for that town. They are not even universal. Each municipality has it's own bi-laws, some that don't require a license and others that do. The towns may only be 20 minutes apart and yet one will have the bi law and one will not. The price also varies. For the Niagara region it is only $125, while for the Toronto region your looking at $200-300. For smaller towns it may only be $75, and some clubs will even give you an advance to pay for it.
Licensing has become a big deal with where some dancers will and will not choose to work. Some would rather avoid the whole thing and therefore circulate the areas that are license free.Others don't really care about the license. I think it is more of a way to keep track of the girls. It leaves a trail and if they get into trouble at the bar, they can be tracked down and held accountable. Charges can be laid if the law is broken.
For myself I am still not sure about how I feel to be an official card toting stripper.It feels almost surreal to think that I am legally lumped into this career. If you google my name will "adult entertainer" come up? Just like my social insurance number or health card number. I wonder if I can use it as another form of "official" Id. "Well I'm sorry I don't have my driver's license on me but I do have my Adult Entertainer's license, will that do?" I never thought to ask...
Friday, March 31, 2006
11:14AM - All that Glitters is Not Gold
My body is aching. My shoulder blades feel like they’ve been wrenched from my body. My forearms are burning from hoisting myself up on the pole. I have pole burn down the insides of my thighs from a trick that I couldn’t quite manage and tried to get under control before I lost my grip and landed on my head. My knees are so sore I can barely squat down or bend, and are dotted with bruises from crawling along the stage that look disgusting and presumptuous. Like a McDonalds sign they scream out 100 customers served. There is a bruise at the base of my neck from where the collar I was wearing got indented into my skin while I did a back roll on stage. My lower back keeps shooting pain when I bend over reminding me that I shouldn’t do back arches on stage without having done a warm up first. Don’t even ask about my feet. There are permanent corns, and other blisters from cramming them into heels and constantly walking up and down 4 flights of stone stairs. That might also contribute to the knee problems.
My body clock is all bunged up from getting home anywhere from midnight to 3AM, and then trying to be up at a decent hour so I can actually participate in the real daytime world. I begin work when the club opens at 3 or 4pm. If I get up at 11:00am then I have just enough time to tidy my apartment, shower, dress, check on my e-mail and on-line endevors & go get a coffee, as I do every morning. By this time it is around 12:30. I have to give myself at least 45 minutes to get to work. That doesn’t leave me with much time to scurry around with all of the other errands I need to do that fit into the 9-5 world. Laundry, cooking, groceries, bill paying, going to the post office, returning phone calls, being social; all of these tasks I have to delegate to one or two a day, because I simply don’t have the time required. I feel like I am constantly in a state of catching up and as such things seem to never get done. I’m out of touch with my family, with my friends and with whatever is going on in society. I usually shuffle into work 15-30 minutes late huffing and puffing from running myself ragged trying to squeeze in whatever I can.
Since I pull 10 or 11 hour shifts with 5 shows a night, I get run down very easily. Running around naked and touching a stage that is covered in naked girl’s sweat and fluids doesn’t help matters much. Viruses go around like mad. Once one girl gets something we all get it. Of course this isn’t just from the girls – having drunken men lean into your face and spit at you while they are talking pretty much guarantees illness. I have simultaneously come down with a head cold, a bladder infection and strep throat. This is one of the reasons why it is so important to be choosy of whom you’ll work with. There are a lot of dancers who will do extras in the back. Giving hand jobs or blow jobs. The last thing you want is this girl rubbing her cooch then rubbing the pole. Ever wonder why someone rubs down the poles inbetween sets? Yup now you know- glamourous isn't it?!!
All of this for what? Did I come home with thousands of dollars in cold hard cash in my pocket? Nope. The night I rent my body limb from limb I made nothing. Zip, zilch, nadda. Not one private dance. For some reason there is this big misnomer that strippers come home with $800 cash a night easy. HA. Is what I have to say to that one. Though I would really like to know where these men are getting this assumption. Granted the money is there to make, there is no doubt about it. But dancers lie. They will tell you that they make much more then they do to keep their pride up. But once in the dressing room they whine about how little they made. The documentaries you see on strip clubs are filmed in big money spending cities that boast casinos and high rollers. Las Vegas, Atlantic City, Niagara Falls, New Orleans. High tourist trafficked areas where people come to live it up and spend, spend, spend. I’d like to see a documentary done on the clubs in small town America or the small northern towns in Ontario. It probably wouldn’t be nearly as exciting. Truth be told in my area a very good night is $500+ If you can make more you most likely have regulars. Hustling the general floor at a bar will garish you $0- $500, give or take anything in between. You'll either get lucky and find some dude that just wants to spend money or you'll get stuck in the one dance one dance one dance routine. These take up alot of your time- going to the bar for drinks, getting into the booth, getting out then back in to your outfit. Those one dances end up taking up 3.
You can, and will do very well in this industry. But it is also a law of averages. Some weeks are amazing- you just rake it in without having to try and the next week you may bomb. It makes you wonder what you did wrong to not have made any money. You start to think that you are not cut out for this business or that you are not attractive. What some people including dancers fail to realize is that our income is directly based on how much money the populace has to spend.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
11:01AM - Sick
I had to take a week off of work due to illness. I just found out that I have a bladder infection and either mono or strep throat. I'm gagging on my swollen tonsils at the moment. It's all I can taste and it's making my stomach want to hurl. Now I've got hiccups that won't stop. I'm a mess.
Monday, March 13, 2006
11:03AM - Sore-ness
Started working at velvet Lounge. It's been great so far. Albeit tiring as hell. 4 flights of stairs to get up to the VIP on the second floor, another flight to the dressing room.Yet 2 more to the roof top patio that will open in the summer. All in heels.
I have doubled my stage shows from 3-6+, as the club has no freelancers yet. There will maybe be 1 or 2 girls there freelancing.I've had to go on stage barefoot now as I simply cannot dance that many times in heels. Plus the stage is new and very slippery. My knees are a patchwork of bruises that look horrible under the black lights.I was never one of those girls who grinded on her knees, but the upstairs stage will be glass = NO POLE..WHAAAT'S a dancer with no POLE??!! SO I've had to get creative and negate myself to the fact that I will have to crawl around to kill time.Plus my thighs are killing me from all those stairs...
But the owner's are really taking care of us. The shift pay is more then any club around here, and for extra shows they compensate you. If you work 4-11 and stick around until close they double your pay. On weekends that's a nice chunk of cash that makes you not worry so much about getting private dances. Some of the older dancers just work to stage and don't bother trying to get private dances.
I've had my first really embarrassing run in with people I know. A handful of acquaitances showed up and were sitting right in perverts row when I had to go on stage. I just walked up to them and said " well this is embarrassing" I told them my close friend who we all know, had some issues with sex in general so to please be discreet. They all agreed and hopefully will keep their word.It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be - they all cheered for me and came on stage with tips ( even though I was shaking the entire time I danced that set.)
Monday, January 23, 2006
3:21PM - What's in a Name?
"My name is Dita and I'll be your entertainer tonight."
When I go into work my name is Eve. I have no last name, and no history. I am simply Eve. I am calm, cool and aloof. I do not use my name to hide who I really am, but rather to embody all that I could be. Eve is my alter ego, who I am when the sun goes down. She is not someone I hide or someone I am afraid of being. She is me.
When a dancer first gets into the business she chooses her *stage* name. contrary to popular belief it is not to hide who she really is. Celebrities, wrestlers, porn stars,superhero's and even writer's choose to operate under an assumed alias. The name they choose will be something catchy, or flashy - to exalt who they are.
I have run across a truck load of names for all of the above, ranging from the normal Kelly, Jocelyn, Bella & Sherri to the exotic Kat,Hunter,& Domina, Kamra to the fantastical: Raven, Mayhem, Celeste, Killian, & Starr.
The name chosen for oneself does not necessarily have to be about anonymity.I was watching an episode of Queer as Folk where Emmit was talking about how one chooses a porn name. He said that you take the name of your first pet and combine it with the first street you lived on. Voila your porn name. Mine would be Princess Lemarier. Silly but it does have a certain ring to it.We all have names we would have wanted rather had then our own. In our heads we are always so much bigger, sexier, brighter, and more desirable. Here we can assume them. We can create a whole identity about who this person is and what she does.
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